Added: Jennipher Tabares - Date: 07.04.2022 21:35 - Views: 29768 - Clicks: 9018
Here are 11 reasons to not to make that heterosexual romance legal. Same-sex marriage is now legal in the U. While this is a huge historical milestone in terms of the fight to end American homophobia, it is important to remember that marriage is not simply an expression of love between two people. It is a legal and social institution engineered within a context of heterosexuality, which exists to benefit men and control women, initiated in order reinforce the notion of women as property.
Thus, whenever the institution of marriage is celebrated, it is a celebration of this institution and its history. It is tragically ironic that the rhetoric of the gay rights movement has fueled the patriarchal narrative positioning marriage as one of the most fundamental human rights and the utmost expression of love.
This characterization of marriage ignores the entire history of marriage and its functional ificance within male supremacy. That is:. Studies show that men benefit from marriage through an increase to their healthwealthand happiness. Married women, however, are no better off than unmarried women.
The social norms of wifedom are bullshit. Wives are expected to treat their husbands like incompetent children in domestic matters — to behave like their mothers, ensuring they are fed, washed, well-dressed, and that their things are organized. Little is expected of men.
They get married, but continue on with their careers as if they are still single. Furthermore, when married, men are viewed as more responsible and stable by their employers, and are more likely to be offered a promotion. Women who get married, on the other hand, are likely to be viewed with distrust by management, as it is assumed they will soon start having babies, go on maternity leave, and prioritize children over work.
Because men, in general, are likely to earn more money than women, the careers of husbands are valued over those of their wives. Despite supposed gains in marriage equality, studies show that even when both partners are employed, women still do the bulk of the housework and childcare. Thus, men are freed up to maintain a healthy social life. The social life of women, however, takes a sharp turn after marriage…. I never felt so lonely as I did when I was married. Sure, I saw my husband every day, and we relished our time together, but things change when you get married.
Now your husband is your family, and social norms dictate that family comes first. You are allowed, as a wife, to have some friends, but only when it is convenient. After work, before dinner, maybe you can meet for a coffee. Or maybe you can get lunch with your gal-pals while your husband is hitting a bucket of balls at the driving range. This is the model of the nuclear family, which is so cruelly isolating — separating us from friends and community. It is still considered improper for a wife to become heavily involved in unpaid community or political activities if it means too much time away from her family.
You come first, along with your passions and activities. If a person fits in with your lifeand it also works for them, then you can be together. When was the last time you had sex? A week ago? You better do it soon! Despite the stress and emotional, political, or psychological discomfort, wives still try to meet the demands of the sex schedule in order to make their husbands happy. The U. Which brings me to my next point:. This is awesome if you think about it.
If he turns into a huge jerk, just leave. Maybe you have your eye on someone else. Sure, it sucks to move out all your junk and find a new place to live if you even lived togetherbut there are no complicated legalities like there are in a divorce. When you can leave your dude at any time, the power dynamics are different.
The two of you are more akin to roommates. You both do your thing, and it may last a really long time, but it might not. Breaking up with a dude is great and easy. But when you want a marriage to end, it is another beast, entirely.
Getting married is very simple. You both go to the courthouse and a piece of a paper. Getting divorced, however, is 10 times more complicated.“In Short, Why Is Marriage A Bad Idea For Men?”
And it is women who usually want out of the marriage, with over two-thirds of divorces in the U. This is a touchy point, because marriage is held near and dear to so many as an important rite of passage in adult life. Marriage is one of the last rituals we have.
When you get married, everyone in the world recognizes and celebrates you for doing so. You visibly display a symbol of your commitment on your finger. The relationship with the person you marry is legitimized as a serious thing, worthy of your efforts. And suddenly, you seem like a responsible person… a proper adult!
People call you Mrs. And look how good you are for not doing it too late in life! As such, all other relationships are devalued as frivolous and inessential — no more important than a hobby. Or better yet, just throw a big party with all of your friends and family!
Men are everywhere. Look over there: A dude. Look over here: Another one. Look out your window: A bunch of dudes! The dude is a simple creature. His male privilege has created a comfortable bubble, in which he has not been forced to confront the complexities of the world.
As a less complex archetype than his female counterpart, he is more easily replaceable. Think of the last time you tried to hang out with your best female friend. You probably had to schedule two weeks in advance… This is partly because women are required to do more in terms of maintaining their health and appearances, but also because women tend to be more involved in various activities, taking care of others, and are constantly maximizing their time.
They have time to play video gamesfor crying out loud. Picture this: There is no man in your life.
There are no children in your life to whom you gave birth. Your life is all about YOU. You selfishly indulge in whatever activities you want. Your home environment is set up to be perfect for your needs. All of your resources and efforts are invested in you. Is that really such a sad life? Being a spinster does not mean solitude or a life of emptiness.
You can find sisterhood, friendship, community, and political solidarity. In fact, when there is no man in your life, there can be so much more of all of these things. You can even have children, if you like. You can be an unmarried mother, or have non-biological children. You can mentor a girl in your community. You can teach a class for.
There is a wealth of possibilities.
But this need not be the case. Why not devote your life to yourself, instead of a man? Susan Cox is a feminist writer and academic living in the United States.Married and it sucks
email: [email protected] - phone:(467) 180-9859 x 5900
Let’s Talk About How Marriage Really Sucks Sometimes