My wife passed way

Added: Lillie Pugh - Date: 15.09.2021 03:30 - Views: 18211 - Clicks: 9704

Six widowed individuals, yet each with their own story of grief. Just as every marriage and relationship is different, you are likely to encounter your own unique set of reactions and experiences when a spouse or life partner dies. Often the death of a wife or a husband radically changes the world as you have learned to understand it. Activities or chores, once shared, now have to be tackled alone. Events that both you and your partner anticipated— graduations, the birth of grandchildren and other special occasions—now have to be attended on your own.

The world becomes a different, lonelier place. This booklet may assist with the grief of a spouse. Although it cannot change the reality of what you may be facing, hopefully, it will allow you to understand the reactions you are experiencing and offer counsel on how you might cope with the inevitable reactions that you experience and the changes that occur.

By understanding your grief, it may be less frightening. Grief is the natural and normal response to loss. Grief is often thought of as emotions—loneliness or sadness. In fact, grief is far more complex. Grief affects you at every level—physically, emotionally, cognitively, socially and spiritually. It influences the ways you think, as well as the ways you behave.

Grief can make you feel unwell. You may experience a range of aches and pains such as headaches, backaches, muscular pain, digestive difficulties or exhaustion. While physical reactions to loss are common, it is essential that you monitor your health carefully in the period following the death of your spouse. This is a stressful, vulnerable time. Begin by looking at how the death has affected your own lifestyle and habits.

Are you eating and sleeping well? Are you getting adequate exercise? For Paul, this was an issue. He treasured walks with Don. Once Don died, he was no longer motivated to walk alone. Are you taking prescribed medications in the proper way? Are you overusing any prescriptions or over-the-counter medications? Has alcohol become a way to cope with the loss? Are you doing things to reduce stress? For some, that might be listening to music, exercising, or other pleasurable activities.

In tense times, good self-care is critical. If problematic physical reactions continue, have them evaluated by a physician. It is important to let the physician know of your recent loss. Naturally, emotions are part of grief as well. You may experience feelings as you cope with the loss of your spouse. Some are clearly expected. It is easy to understand the loneliness, the yearning and the sadness. Other feelings may be surprising.

You may be unprepared for the anger you may feel or shocked that your temper seems to run so short. Anger is a natural response to loss, a feeling that arises from having someone, once so important, disappear from your life. You may direct that anger at those you feel are responsible or unsupportive. Sometimes, it can even be directed at those closest to you. Other times, you may even be angry with the person who died or even God for allowing that loss.

While anger is a normal reaction as you grieve, it can be problematic if you blame or drive others away, depriving you of support and separating you from those you most need in your journey through grief. Sometimes the anger can be directed inward at yourself.

Guilt is also a common response to grief. You may feel guilty that you had some role in the death.

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You can also feel guilty that you are doing too poorly, or even too well, in your grief. You cannot control these feelings. Guilt does not have to have a rational basis to be experienced as real, but sometimes it does help to move outside of yourself and ask yourself if others would see you as guilty. You may also feel jealous of others who still have their spouse.

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Jealousy may not only surprise but also disturb. Frank felt that way when his wife died. He would find himself resenting his still married friends, especially when they complained about little things their partners did that annoyed them.

Janet felt some jealousy of those who could marry when she could not legally wed Sheila. At other times, you may be gripped by a great anxiety and fear wondering how you will survive alone.

The Ups and Downs of Grieving My Wife's Death

Some feelings may be more positive in character. You may feel a renewed appreciation of the role that person played in your life. These emotions are normal, too. They are the natural result of life shared together. It is not unusual to experience these many, even conflicting, emotions as you grieve. Yet feelings and emotions are only part of the grief experience. Grief also influences the way you think. You may find it difficult to focus or concentrate.

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You may seem forgetful—going downstairs for example, only to forget your reason for going there when you arrive. You may constantly think about your loss, rehashing painful details in your mind. Nor is it unusual to have experiences that evoke your spouse. Dreams for example, are common. You may even hear a voice or sound that reminds you of your spouse. Your behaviors also may be different.

You may find yourself less patient or more prone to anger, or you may be more lethargic and apathetic. You may even withdraw—seeking lots of time alone that was not typical of you before the loss.

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You may find yourself needing time to cry or surprised that tears do not seem to come, or you may constantly seek the activity and company of others as a way to divert your grief. Some may avoid reminders of the spouse who died. It simply may be too painful to view photographs or listen to songs that remind you of the person. Others may seek these reminders and find the memories they evoke comforting. Grief may affect you spiritually.

Some may find great strength in beliefs. They sustain you as you struggle with your loss and grief. You may find your spirituality deepen—attending worship, praying, or reading scripture—even more frequently than you did in the past. Others may find their spirituality threatened. You may struggle with anger at God and have doubts about your prior beliefs. You may be confused over why the person suffered and why you also seem to be suffering so greatly.

You may find it difficult to connect with your beliefs and find little comfort at this time in your faith. These are all ways that you may journey through your grief. It is important to remember that there is no single, right way to experience grief. Your experience of grief is what it is.

It My wife passed way from who you are. After all, you cannot compare your loss, reactions or responses to others. Differing experiences of grief have little to do with how much you loved or cared about your partner. Everyone and every relationship is different, so it makes sense that the experiences of grief are different as well. Some, for example, will experience grief as vivid colors.

Their emotions and other reactions will be open, transparent to the world. In others, the experience of grief will be more muted or in subdued pastels. In these later instances, others may never see the grief that you are experiencing. It is important to remember how individual the experience of grief is. So many times as you grieve, you will hear people, often well-meaning folks, tell you how you are supposed to be feeling or how you should be reacting.

Yet there is no one, single way to grieve, no set of predictable responses or preset stages. Your pathway through grief will be as distinct and unique as you are. The experience of grief is so personal and distinctive because each loss is so unique. Some have experienced a sudden loss perhaps due to a heart attack, stroke, an accident or some other external event.

Others may experience a slow decline, witnessing your spouse fade away even as you care for that person. Some may be widowed early in life facing responsibilities such as raising children alone. Young widows and widowers may face many different complications. The loss may shatter your world since one rarely considers the possibility of being widowed at a young age.

In addition, your social world is greatly disrupted. You are now alone in a world full of pairs. Yet you may be able to draw on certain strengths that are now available.

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Your health is likely to be good and your support system is likely to be intact. Older widows may face other difficulties. You may find you are dealing with multiple losses as those who once provided support now struggle with their own health. You also may be dealing with the death of a spouse at a time when you are dealing My wife passed way your own health conditions. It may be more difficult to live alone now that your spouse is no longer there. Yet, older widows may draw from their own strengths. Earlier losses in life may help you know more about what to expect as you journey in grief.

In addition, many of your friends may share similar experiences. Older widowers may experience their own unique issues. You may feel more isolated especially if your spouse arranged the social activities. Again, depending on the roles that you and your spouse played, it may be more difficult to negotiate the regular tasks of living alone.

Others may have lost partners or lovers whom they never formally married. Here it is easy for your grief to become disenfranchised—that is for others to never realize the intensity of the relationship or the seriousness of the commitment. It may seem that others do not support your grief, and you feel you grieve alone while your loss goes unacknowledged.

This can be true, too, in same-sex marriages. There may be other factors as well. Each relationship is different. Some relationships may be highly interdependent—every activity is undertaken along with your spouse. Others may be more dependent. You really leaned on your spouse to initiate activities and to carry them through. Other relationships may be more independent with each of you having your own separate activities.

My wife passed way

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